I was in a room full of silent, hostile men, but I never found out what was wrong. Like them, I had to wear a costume, so I found myself dressed as a giant velvet bat.

Despairing at the futility and stupidity of it all, I put my head down on the edge of a sofa or bed and wept uncontrollably. I could not stop myself, but none of them was moved.

They would refer to each other and to me only by last name, even the man who came in for a drink. I had never felt so dehumanized and so hopeless.